God is sovereign over everything & although times are tough, i can truly testify that God does not test you beyond what you can take. today i felt quite disappointed about my math, but something big just happened to cheer me up immensely, and i now feel like i’ve got the strength to go on…
everything i am, for Your kingdom’s cause.
my life right now is made up of many decisions, manny things to be concerned about, but this weekend i took time out to sort out my future and i’m praying that everything will be alright. and of course it will be, because God has got a wonderful plan for me…. i just don’t know it yet. and you know what?
i’m opening myself to other options now. i’ve realized that what i wanted might not be what God wants for me… so i might not get it. but it’s okay. there’s always something else in store… all i can do is try my best.
yeah. i don’t think trust is an issue now. not anymore. and i’m gradually dealing with all my insecurities too.
this weekend i signed up for SATs, submitted my UCAS, and probably most importantly, committed myself to joining the worship ministry from mid-december onwards 
and can i just say that i’m looking forward to the last item the most?? i’ve been wanting to join worship ministry since i first started coming to PPH. its probably where i think i can contribute best, at least for now.
anyway i’m gonna try to sleep early tonight, and wake up early to get a prime seat at marina starbucks tmrw gonna get my 4th starbucks passport hehe. loving starbucks ABIT too much.
looking forward to my post-As plans… but meanwhile i’m gonna try to enjoy studying. today was econs and it was actually not bad EXCEPT FOR the MC/MR diagram…. which plagues my life 
tomorrow is southeast asian history, hopefully i can finish compiling my notes!!
…. so, to everyone who’s taking A levels, HOPE YOU HAVE A PRODUCTIVE DAY TOMORROW, AND A PRODUCTIVE WEEK TO COME
happy birthday johnson, && i hope you have a REALLY AWESOME DAY
But yeah nothing will change the fact that you’re already incredibly awesome yourself hahahah. <3!
i do sometimes wish people could be more sensitive,
could realize when they make a mistake and try not to make a mistake again.
i’ve learnt, the hard way, not to be complacent. or rather, i’m still trying to learn my lesson. i’m still putting off studying certain subjects to the last minute, and i know i shouldn’t, and i’m trying but perhaps not hard enough. but at least i’m aware of my faults.
some people are so warped up in their own world. in this tiny little world that revolves around a few people, and these people in this world are so needy, so sticky, so dependent on each other that the relationship becomes unhealthy, and when your universe revolves around one person… well i think that’s just abit sick.
some people lose their temper more easily than i lose my phone in my bag. (the latter actually happens quite often because there are always alot of things in my bag, and i can never remember where i’ve left my phone.)
some people don’t see the extent of their actions, how they can hurt others, and even after watching the visual spectacle of someone being hurt….. they don’t think they’re wrong.
- they think they’re damn right, that they’ve got a right to be angry, that they are so perfect they can find fault with others.
to you, you know who you are even if you will never read this because you’re too obsessed with yourself and a few select other things (very few, i might add) – i told you that i think you’re unreasonable. but i guess you think you’re perfectly justified. so be it. you will one day find out how wrong you are, and i hope you find out soon so you can make the changes soon. i pray the people around you will stop indulging you, and stop being even more unreasonable than you, so that perhaps you will realize that shouting does not solve a problem, even if you are north korea and you’re shouting with a nuclear weapon to back you up.
and to everyone else, if you’ve ever hurt someone before, if you’ve ever made someone cry, if you’ve ever been angry and shouted at someone: then i ask you to think today if you really were in the right, and if you should be making amends, not just to that person, but with regards to yourself as well.
but perhaps, it takes someone like bentley drummle to beat the crap out of you before you will be “bent and broken”, hopefully into a better shape.
watch this;
haven’t seen something so funny, so addictive, so…. COOL. in ages.
“trouble?” echoed my sister; “trouble?” and then entered on a fearful catalogue of all the illnesses i had been guilty of, and all the acts of sleeplessness i had committed, and all the high places i had fallen from, and all the low places i had tumbled into, and all the injures i had done myself, and all the times she had wished me in my grave, and i had contumaciously refused to go there.”
-great expectations, charles dickens (christmas day dinner)
mrs joe is without a doubt the most horrible character in great expectations, for at least pumblechook is just annoying – mrs joe is so hypocritical, and to joe and pip she is both physically and verbally abusive, that she totally deserved her violent end.
i am starting to really like dickens, and what is scary is that at the same time i am liking certain subjects less and less as i gradually get more and more overwhelmed by these certain subjects.
i realized i haven’t been blogging lately. from being an avid blogger, i have pretty much moved base over to twitter and tumblr. but i haven’t really been tumbling much either!
anyway. school’s out. i’m actually quite happy that i’ve reached the end of my junior college education, and possibly my education in singapore. it has been so, so tough going through the last few weeks. having to live with a non-revamped timetable despite having heard about this exciting 3-day week since i was IP1 and looking forward to it since. the unfairness, the idea of this being unjust, probably contributed to alot of sour feelings i felt towards the end.
i know what i will miss about this school. i will miss the grandstand, i will miss some of my lessons because my teachers are just so, so good (i don’t just mean Mr Whitby, although he is really brilliant), i will miss the rooftop. i thought i’d miss LT5, but i haven’t performed there at all this year so i guess i’ve lived through “missing that”.
i know i will miss my friends, but i hope that having infinite time (okay, somewhat infinite) will mean spending more quality time with them rather than the quantitative time we spend now.
and i also think the “END” hasn’t really hit me just yet because i’ve never been so calm, and so not tearful, about “goodbye” before. perhaps also because this is NOT the end – there’s still A levels and i’ll still have to don my greys a few times a week. no more morning assembly and being scared of the penalties of latecoming though
but yeah. just thought i should blog to mark the occasion.
oh but the main point of this post is actually to THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
my room is in a CHRONIC MESS because i somehow just can’t keep it meticulously tidy. plus i like the random mess. i know vaguely where everything is. it’s NOT SO GOOD when i’m looking for result slips, because i tend to put them “somewhere”. especially my IP transcripts because they reminded me of alot of negative feelings i had eg. having my grade point average pulled down because i did badly in science, even though i did well in the humanities + math. but i DID put them all together when i applied for my humanities scholarship about 2 years ago. and then i lost the entire envelope. results slips for last year + this year were easier to find, i placed them somewhere (but together) in the mess ‘cos the subjects printed were my favourite subjects. or at least relatively more likeable than my other options.
so i sat at my table, prayed fervently, and started searching. i need it to apply to univerisity, and for scholarships. AND GUESS WHAT. LESS THAN 10 MINUTES LATER, I FOUND IT. it being the envelope with everything. despite having gone hunting (without praying) a few days ago and coming out of it empty handed after half an hour. AWESOME OR NOT?
so yes – THANK YOU GOD
it may seem like a small thing, but i can see God working in my life
in other news – i had lunch with daddy today at botak jones!! i love their sides; baked cheese potato and spicy fries ftw.
thank you all for your prayers, help, guidance, in one way or another -
i have survived prelims, and i’m quite satisfied with my grades (:
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this feels like promos all over again. and that’s a good feeling
today was well, mixed.
no more results, i’m okay with what i’ve got so far.
very happy for econs, happy for GP, not happy but not depressed over history and math, but slightly worried for math.
and now i’m all tense waiting for lit tmrw.
yesterday my ipod hung and i felt my world FREEZE. i kid you not.
today i decided to leave my options “more open”, as one would say.
tomorrow decides ALOT of what i’ve been fretting about.
i’m kinda terrified, the what-if scares me because i don’t know what else i’d do other than what i’ve planned so far and if i can’t do that i’ll be this lost soul again. but at the same time, i’m glad that it’s come down to the crunch and i can quite calmly decide what exactly i’m going to do, and right now i’m just praying that everything will be alright, but if it doesn’t then it just means i’ve gotta do some rethinking.
but for the record, i thank God for all my grades!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!
i have seen miracles, HUGE improvements (eg up 3 grades for econs), better-than-expected grades (thought i would do badly for GP compre, was convinced i had bombed SBQ for history.. which i kind of did still BUT not as badly as i thought) and surprise grades like for math…………………………………………. which just means i’ve gotta work harder, and i’m taking it in my stride.
i feel abit like how i felt when i was preparing for promos last year. this whole thing, it’s all in God’s hands. the most important thing isn’t your grades, but how you got there, and what kind of person you are.
and i know that all i have, well, it isn’t all As or anything, but anything that looks moderately good, i can say – all glory to God! because it isn’t me. no, definitely not. far from that. it’s by God’s grace.
so yes, thank you God for everything!!!!
