shutdown; it’s showtime

okay so for one half a day i was a normal teen having BK at vivo then watching brothers at the vivo cinema, and the movie had excellent cinematography- whoever was the director did an excellent job, being both art house and having a followable plot at the same time which was really cool !

chinese paper was scary, unpredictable and i guess quite passable but not really ace-able, so i guess this means i won’t bother worrying about it since it’s over anyway!

since the all the exams are over, i have no more excuse to binge and sleep late, so healthy lifestyle for me from now onwards! poo ):

within the next few days i need to finish everything on the very long to-do list, *groans* but carwash & CIP tmrw should be quite fun !

today was cold, not nice! i am bored but i actually do have work to do haha

freedom lasts just but one afternoon

but on the bright side, the holidays have technically really started right now

i can’t stand to fly; i’m not that naive

okay so estella’s method of telling yourself that you’ll have a good dream does work, because i dreamt of eating a whole strawberry cheesecake, which was very nice =)

went running in the morning for about 20 minutes, was very refreshing and enjoyable to be running in sunshine again and i haven’t deproved that much either, managed two rounds without much problem, whee

then went off to macs to meet estella, the kfc at harbourfront’s open but doesn’t look nice sadly haha

studying at macs was rather unproductive, all i managed to finish was the stack of baozhanbaodaos and i am gonna be rather pissy if none of the topics come out, BUT then again i can’t really remember anything either, oh bother!

had my favourite breakfast, but the funnest thing was mixing sauces at lunch haha

after a short shop-around break where i bought a nice pair of earrings and figured i was broke having spent 20 bucks on food in 3 days, which is a very scary thought, because i’ve never been broke because of food before!

well we tried and attempted to study but failed, so estella and i finally gave up and went to vivo to get her sushi, then headed home and am currently trying to decide between sleeping or eating and wondering what i should do for the rest of tonight

i will /must sleep early though, and considering i’m rather tired now and have gone one day without caffeine or sugar rushes, i should be able to just sleep

i hate macs’ ads =/

cookies, dreams and cokey

it’s the middle of the night and i’m huddling on my couch with sleeping/snoring cat next to me, munching on chipsmore cookies and dipping it in milk, listening to jj lin ie chinese music and just generally trying to decide what i should do;

i need to be banned from coke because after a large dose of it just now [i didn't realize how enormous the large cup was!!] i can’t sleep, and yeah,

i could write an essay, a letter from all the paper ones i have,

i could write to a real person but i don’t have to send it out,

i could go running but it’s too late and dangerous,

i could try sleeping but it isn’t working

i could read a book, like one of the nearly hundred dad bought for me from shanghai a few years back but i feel guilty for not touching ): my dad really tries very hard to make me learn my chinese well because he never did it himself =/

-

this month has been a month of replying to emails and making new friends somewhat cause of isl fundraising hahahah, and it has also been a month or rather, fortnight of sincere emails;

i’ve sent out a few already, either of thanks or cheering up note

-

uh, i shall not rant openly about depressing stuff, back to livejournal

a precipice from which i dream

i am actually sleeping 8 hours a day and it’s showing because my hair is nice and i don’t get pissed and i generally am very peacable and happy, which is good =)

so woke up at 11plus this morning, down to school, consultation with wenlaoshi, ms selva reprinted my entry proof for me, WHEEEEEE i am like just eternally grateful cause that’s one problem off my mind then saw the ip1s preparing for induction on thursday and i really envy them =/

i just thought about last year and stuff, and about my induction too, and tons have changed since then, not just for me but for everyone around me- and all the bands are now defunct, mine included, and i just realized for all the stage fright and nerves, i actually miss going on stage very very much.

it’s like i’ve gone on a hiatus, or maybe not since i did perform recently like in september which was less than 2 months ago, but it sucks when i JUST managed to really get over the whole being nervous and having butterflies thing i don’t get another shot at trying again and making it just perfect/ right.

oh dear me, i do miss the life of being on stage; last night was like back to primary school days, talking about stuff that we used to do and remembering what life used to be like, and i figure if i was in primary school now i’d probably be preparing for yet another performance; my growth as a performer could probably be charted by the photos or even videos of every single concert kellock had, because i performed in every single one.

i miss singing, and my voice has been odd of late too, i’m somehow croaking which is damn scary; maybe my voice is breaking

anyway! wenjie being the kindhearted little brother he is [sadly he might be taller than me soon which would be terribly sad and unfair] very readily lent me his very nice watch because i need a reliable clock for the hcl exam on wednesday and my last watch got drowned by chiansiang at obs, so yay! thanks bro

anyway hung around jurong library instead of vivo because estella decided to meet minying & grace there. studying there was totally not conducive though, i just talked away about the latest updates of my very interesting life;

well but yes, decided to go vivo instead, so went down to harbourfront macs where i finally started studying and finished reading half the stack of baozhangbaodaos, am at a slight loss as to how i should spend the next 48 hours or less studying for chinese.

i do know my calorie intake is insane though which i find quite funny, and will mean that after o’s i have to run every evening away haha. i can’t wait to go out with minying and grace on wednesday though, and to go wash cars then go zhenghua on thursday

i need a new sweater; and today was unbearably brrrrrr cold!

and this is a long random post, not an inch of chinese so bye, am off to sleep & try estella’s technique on how to dream sweet dreams, haha

this beautiful place isn’t everything they say

yay just reached home after hanging out at clarke quay for the whole evening which was very enjoyable & random, as always =)

went down to central, looked around then had subway for dinner and the cookies were nice, and this is the first time i’m eating subway and it’s not bad really, haha.

then sat by the river and just talked, i refused to look at the reverse bungee thing after it gave me so much grief a few months back, and i’ve decided that hlme+gp in NJ is what i’m going to do and i will stick with it and yeah i’m not gonna kick myself even though i don’t think that day will come either.

so after a gallon of tears and wondering, and scaring both my parents [my mum's still convinced i quarreled with my bf, my dad is touchy about the topic] and pestering my favourite teachers for some guidance and of course not forgetting how i whined to all the bffs for help,

i’ve decided no KI, same as what i started out with, so i’m back to square one, and i’m sorry for wasting everyone’s time too but yeah, it’s a few days away but i know what i want already, for once =)

i was planning to go back to stc tmrw and if i wake up early enough i might, or maybe i should email first so i don’t make wasted trip!

school tmrw, but no assembly therefore no waking up early, whee!

i’m happy with who i am actually, and mostly happy with how i look and with life generally, school and class included in the equation, and like all humans [and mermaids like ariel] i do want more but right now it doesn’t matter all that much anymore because i feel quite content =)

it’s 3 days to chinese o’s and i’m going out, i can’t sit down for 2 hours to finish a paper and i’m going nowhere reading my book and it’s midnight and i’m hungry but that’s just life, and i should just go sleep,

but despite everything, today was a happy day, and i can’t wait for chinese o’s to be over and then i can properly enjoy myself.

i think.

i <3 chinese music, really!

should i stay or should i go?

i’m tired, but not in the mood to do chinese

just came back from dinner at mum’s friend’s house, highlight of the night was talking to that friend’s husband who’s a lit teacher in acsIB cause it was very educational, i think i have to reread the whole “his dark materials” trilogy by philip pullman again to really absorb the full meaning of it; apparently the questions, my doubts raised by the book, were on the right track-

i suddenly wish i could start on lit tmrw =)

one night of being stuffed in a skirt that reminds me how i’ve put on weight since augustwhich is alarming to say the least, and having to act like a prim & proper lady which is tiring, just for starters, although i’ve apparently grown taller again, yay!

went out shopping at vivo with my mum after that, but she refused to buy me anything URGGGGH! =/

moon was nice tonight!

and yes, time to sleep now, i’m tired & tmrw marks the start of chinese immersion! poo=/

oh my, pretty pretty boy

here are some problems i have:

1- i can’t sit properly at all to save my life, and i somehow have alot of hormones, both oestrogen and testosterone which is quite odd; and i’m not weird but there are tons of guys out there who have hotter legs and smaller waists than me and who should really be in the running to be the next miss singapore, so yes, my life is sad brilliant.

2- my chinese o level entry proof is missing; and i spent last night vegetating in front of the tv watching shark, a super cool lawyer show, and survivor’s before that which was quite exciting.

3- my keyboard is still irritating me to no end

4- my caat went on a peeing spree and i am honestly just very pissed off because it’s not like i didn’t toilet train her, and everytime she pees on my stuff it cause me a whole damn lot of problems! i locked her in her cage though; if she can’t control herself she can jolly well learn it the hard way

5- chinese o levels are coming and i havent done anything productive for the last 60 hours; went out shopping yesterday which was good stress relief, went out this morning for the lit seminar, cabbed down cause it was raining plus i woke up late, and the seminar was okay for the first part and i was really sleepy!!! =/ but the second part was just absolutely hilarious !? RI/HC boys are very horny, and have very hot legs, and look more like girls than most of us do which is poo, not fair! and bandana and i were discussing how to put the pretty boys [as in those with girly faces] who had nice legs and were verrrrry slim as well, in for miss singapore universe cause they’d probably win! haha

6- i’m going out soon after just coming home, to mum’s friend’s house for hari raya open house which means for the rest of tonight i have to be a prim and proper girl which is just uh, nice considering today has made me feel more un-feminine than usual =/

7- i’m tired and the eyebags are bad bad bad, and ii am just hoping to get some sleep since i no longer have to wake up at 6 for school, at least for now

8- i need to backup my harddisc but i dunno if my external hard drive is still working which sucks to no ends man, seriously! =/

9- i am nush’s crazy stalker, and she hasn’t figured out how i knew she was in town and what she did, I AM so good AT THIS

10- i am going to try and stop worrying about everything, including how am i gonna solve the problem of my stupid cat, until after the o levels, and then my whole life and fall apart again, but i must keep it together before then

what happened to jenny?

we cleared out our classrooms today for the stinky 08 batch; feels rather odd to be ip3 and yeah, have ip2s for juniors, eeks! our classroom now looks atrocious because we cleared it up so it looks like some neat office place and nothing like the vibrant classroom that we, 06ip03, made it to be =)

i wish 08ip03 good luck, because they’ve got enormous shoes to fill; but no class will ever be as brilliant, interesting, funky and diverse as 06ip03, although they might get lesser complaints with a neater classroom

clearing up the classroom & lockers was a tad more difficult though, hilarious nonetheless, but yeah had to lug around stuff i forgot existed

so, i know i’m gonna miss the class, and despite whining constantly about how i can’t wait to burn recycle dump my notes for all at IS modules in the recycling bin, i suddenly wish i could redo ip2; i know a dozen things i would have changed,  a dozen more ways to have more fun and less grief, but i guess i’ll just have to cut short my holiday and wake up to the reality that ip3’s coming and slacking through school is no longer an option, especially when i’m only doing subjects i like! haha :S

well chinese today was like a sauna ? we sat at the grandstand because there wasn’t any other venue, and yeah i’m just glad that chinese concentration camp is over, although the thought of having to face chinese o’s on wednesday remains a big worry =/

the best thing about today was going out though, with estella! didn’t get anything from topshop or forever 21 though, because the tops i wanted made me look either shapeless or bloated; oh the misery of not exercising ):

BUT BUT BUT shopping at vivo was otherwise a very productive success, because i went on one of my rare shopping SPREEEEES and ended up with a whole bunch of stuff for myself and other people, and overall it was just very very fun! =)

one day when i’m not overladen with stuff [from clearing my locker!] i’ll go shopping again; and today was one of the rare fridays where i wasn’t broke! because i sold off my crucible & got a refund for obs, so yes, had money to spend & all, whee! i <3 shopping!

and the chinese intensive thing starts tmrw, because i’ve realized it isn’t impossible for my to get my A1, currently i’m scoring an A if i add the paper 1 and 2 scores together, but these are very un-conservative estimates, so i figure if i throw myself into chinese i will get it, i think =/

the only problem is that i’m getting really tired, but hopefully i can run this last mile well =)

it’s the end of the term but it doesn’t feel like it, and after an unproductive day of chinese i’m wondering if it would have been better for me to just go back to stc to see mrs kong for one last time- or maybe there’s still next week, i guess…

don’t we all wish we were them?

haha today was quite fun and jolly, everyone can do h2 math which is yeah a big relief! spent the morning waiting for the results instead of going for chinese, then chitchatted throughout the chinese lecture, so today was a very unproductive day for chinese, so i’ll probably do my essay sometime =/

i’m trying to consider if i should skip tmrw morning and go off to stc instead, because it’s the end of the year mass, and mrs kong the best principal ever is leaving and i wonder if i’ll get to see her after that =/

GAH THIS IS VERY difficult, because i still love stc with all my heart and soul, and i still miss my school very much, even though i am happy here in NJ! and if not for mrs kong, i might not even BE here in NJ because she was the one who told me that if i went off to NJ and really didn’t like it, i could always come transfer back to stc, and knowing that made going through everything just a little easier, and oh dear me, i wish i didn’t have to make this decision ! =/

okay nevermind more about my day and less about the dilemmas that fill my life; more about my day !

everyone finds it hard to believe that i have space in me to be a softspoken, shy, reserved blushing girl, and today happened to be one of those days where i was too much of a debater- the first thing mayor teo’s colleagues said to me after our whole presentation was: are you a debater?

which i found very funny, and i guess it’s kind of a compliment, that i’m clear? =) ahah stayed back in school with grace and figured my chinese vocab’s actually quite vast, just that i can recognize words, just can’t write them! haha and i didn’t manage to finish my gong han either despite staying back in school in an attempt to finish it ):

but yeah went for a mini-dinner with grace and going out with her after this hahahaha because she’s in the same block as me now, just a few flats/levels away meeting someone from her church for something, so yeah, very fun day!

eeks but work still has to be done, eventually!

told you i’d be here forever.

okay today was kinda breakthrough for chinese, i wrote my first baozhangbaodao in a long time, apparently scored well for the essay where i wrote about my supposedly dead boyfriend and i managed to pass the paper even though i missed 8 marks worth of questions, although i missed my usual score but a large margin because the paper was difficult and i was falling asleep.

but sitting at the back was fun today even though the ants came yuck, but yeah lt5’s aircon’s were like out of order so i wound up sitting at the back trying not to die of heat, and eugene was more extreme cause he went outside instead since it was just yeah, really warm.

math selection tests are over, and i feel relieved for my friends taking the test even though i didn’t have to take any myself, phew. and yeah it’s midweek and i’m falling asleep on the bus which is just, bad to say the least.

i’m finally home early for once but i don’t feel like going running, especially after having a terrible headache during chinese today, probably cause i’ve been sleeping with wet hair and not bothering to dry it.

wanted to play tennis but mr menon said we had to be in pe attire so i decided to go to the rooftops with audrey & nush instead and talk and all. which was all in all quite fun =)

so yeah, after talking it over today, i’ve decided it’s definitely hlme for me, because i can write an MI essay in GP but i can’t write a GP essay in KI, so i guess i won’t be missing all that much. that doesn’t mean that i am looking forward to next year though; being ip3 makes me feel horribly old and stuff =/ and i can’t believe there’s gonna be an 08 batch either, they’ll all be super lucky and prosperous!

and another year has past, and i guess this year’s alot better than the last and i’ve learnt alot, and many good things have happened to me, and i’m grateful to God for always showing me the way whenever i was lost

and as the year draws to close my time with 03 comes to an end, because being one of the few people doing an arts combi we’re not gonna have many common lessons, but we’ll still be a class, and we’ll still have gc, hahah =D

and many more things are gonna change, but some things will stay the same, like our friendships are forever-

best friends to the end =)