tomorrow marks a new year.

and the year where dreams came true comes to an end, i’m glad the times where nightmares were galore and emo bouts were the norm are over.

no more tears, no more sorrow, i’m actually kinda looking forward to the new year. OGL-ing, no more chem (!!), LIT omg (!!). i don’t really want to be ip3 or 17 though >.<

walk in practice this morning went ohkay. overslept so i guess i’m kinda really tired. poo =/ went out to concourse to buy masks for walk-in after that, then shopped around bugis. bought a new pencil case !!

first up on my new year resolutions is to lose weight because i’ve realized that my waist is just pure flab and if i don’t watch out my legs will end up like that too. so yes, exercise is key. and not bingeing like mad. ha.

anyway heading out for a new year’s party now, but i figure i’ll have to write those new year cards (i’ve prepared drafts of what i want to write, just haven’t written or designed the cards yet), catch up on some sleep and write those new year resolutions… somewhere soon. =)

happy new year everyone !

maybe baby.

woke up just after noon today, lunched then headed out to maplewoods (which is a really nice condo btw) for walkin practice, totally forgot about mr & mrs smith until i was on the way home at 7plus, so grabbed dinner at subway and rushed home.

subway is my new favourite food chain

lets see. i think i’m fat (yes, again.) because i can’t fit into a large cotton on tank >.< i look fat ohmygoodness. and it’s not the size, others can fit into it; it’s just me.

i really really hate it, having such a thick waist and being so awfully fat (at the waist, at least). the worst thing is probably that my fats are really unevenly spread out, so i have sticks for arms and legs and a tree trunk for my waist. =/ dang. =(

school tomorrow on the last day of the year. bought cheesecake yoghurt on my way home. nestle fitnesse is my new snack until i replenish my chocolate stock.

uploading photos onto facebook now, the entire holidays in like 60 photos, because i’m too lazy to create 2 albums. i’m getting a sore throat, dang.

hmm. hope tomorrow’s full dress rehearsal goes well after the amount of effort we’ve put in !

10 years and counting.

quick post before i drop off to sleep !

i have finally mastered the dances for walk-in ! ha. after very much practice and forcing myself to look away from the person in front of me, i can dance independently now (for the most part, at least) and i can do it with a big smile on my face, which is the most important because i usually look really serious and stoned when i’m dancing.

i think i forgot the mass dance though. shoots.

lunched at some place near BTP and omg mozarella cheese prata is really nice ! then went back to school and finished painting the solaris lion, RAWR!

out for a haircut after that, i think i’m quite happy with my haircut even though i want it abit shorter but i suppose it’ll look yucky if it’s too short, and a more flippant fringe would give me pimples. not that i could ever maintain a fringe though, i’d probably be constantly sweeping it back. so yes, i do like my hairstyle. at least my hair is shorter now and easier to manage !! (yes, lazy me.)

10 year anniversary dinner of sorts with fer after that by the cosmo bistro at wisma, then walked down orchard road and omg the lights are gorgeous no matter how many times i see them !

10 years and counting ! <33!

i just bluetoothed all the photos from like ISL and like today and like random holiday shots, but i’m zonked tired now so i shall go sleep and upload the piccas on facebook some other day when i’m actually willing and able to do so

omg walk-in’s on monday and i don’t have my costume ! *screams* shoooots.

sometimes i wanna call you, but i know you won’t be there.

i’m tired but i’m high.

the ogl camp was equally exhilarating as it was absolutely exhausting.

i’m mildly dehydrated due to a lack of salt from the excessive sweating out i’ve done after around 7 hours plus of dancing today, which was insane(ly fun) btw. someone said OGL was “meant for me”, because it’s everything i love & enjoy, like cheering and playing games and jumping around and being enthusiastic and being crazy and dancing and. and. and. i don’t know, i just enjoy this whole thing tons much as i’m losing my voice which makes me a little sad, but doesn’t stop me from cheering excessively. HAHA.

managed to sleep last night without much trouble. after emo-ing at the field with the fake grass and the pretty stars on a silent night, i decided the new field (that was very clean) would make a good sleeping place and convinced mengyuan to go down with me !! at like 4am we decided it was too cold though, with the morning dew and all (fake grass doesn’t mean no dew. i slept with wet hair and woke up with wetter hair lol) so we moved to the grandstand instead. the field was super comfy though. i like the fake turf better than the mud/real turf. although, WHO DOESNT ! ahaha.

which reminds me. i need a new sweater. and i need to buy it soon. RAH. although in between all the walk-in practices (who ever knew how much effort went into just 10 minutes!) i doubt i’ll have the time to even go out, let alone shop. thinking about it, i don’t mind that much though even though it means i’ve to cancel some of my plans for the remainder of the holidays (like 4 days ahah) because i figure it’s just for another fortnight and then the main part of OGL-ing will be over. so i guess it’s all worth it.

the dancing is fun too. even though after dancing over 10 hours in the last 3 days i feel a tad overwhelmed because of so many new dances and dance steps.

maybe too much of a good thing can/is bad, but i haven’t reached saturation point for enjoyment yet, and i hope i never will.

I LOVE THIS LOVE THIS LOVE THIS. even though i have to sacrifice some things, (in the end) it’s WORTH IT.

(i just really really really need a haircut !! like soon before school starts. hopefully i can find some time for that.)

totally zonked now. maybe the insomnia thing won’t be a problem anymore, whee! i’ve been eating alot though. “i’m hungry” seems to be my new favourite phrase ! it’s probably cos i’m active but yeah.

good night !! & enjoy the rest of your holidays ahahah.

even perfection has its own set of problems.

When we DO GOD’S WILL

a. we’ll probably end up on “Who Wants to be a Millionaire”

b. we’ll eventually get what we want.

c. we are not guaranteed a comfortable life; we are promised that only our discomfort has meaning in God’s plan.
-
first day of the OGL camp today. couldn’t sleep last night, so i survived today with like barely 5 hours of sleep.

i really love cheering. madly love cheering. and the trial run of the games today was quite fun too.  so despite the fact that the last few days of my last proper holiday for the next 22 months (until after A’s) are being spent in school, i’m enjoying myself much.

staying over in school tomorrow, with the promise of “no sleep” in preparation for the war games, but i’m actually looking forward to it because i think it’ll be alot of fun.

after working, i think i prefer school. after running around school drenched in cold (and sometimes stinky) water, i think i prefer war games/orientation to real lessons.

and i officially think that physics is the most practical subject, as many games today relied on  balance & the centre of gravity thingum. painting and other random stuff in vietnam totally showed off the usefulness of physics too.

i can’t believe i just said that but it’s true.

anyway i’m off to watch ALIAS now, then sleeeeeeeeeeeeep. maybe i’ll be tired enough to drop off to dreamland straightaway and not lie awake, wondering and worrying like the worry wart i always am that will eventually get me to a nervous breakdown soon if i don’t stop it.

so this is christmas.

hii here’s a quick post before i catch some sleep.

spent sunday at the law firm, last minute work, then left for JB that night with dad, bummed around at dad’s JB house, just came back.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE !

i’m feeling rather blessed right now, even though i’m tired and all i really want is some sleep. okay what i really want for christmas is to be happy, and there are probably a dozen things that could make me happy, right now some rest is good enough.

i finished doing 60 sudokus over the course of the past 2 afternoons. wow me.

and then this morning i couldn’t get to sleep because i felt stressed (and it’s the holidays) over my schedule, and basically, everything.

gah. it’s just like me to dread the end of the holidays and the start of the school year.

i just ranted a whole 2 paragraphs which i cleared because it’s too whiny. maybe i am growing up. i need sleep. i’m really tired and my eyebags are horrible. and i’m still sick with a really bad blocked nose that no amount of medicine seems to cure. =/

night.

come right back to haunt me again.

just back from grace’s, rather tired so here’s quick post before i drop off into the blissful unconsciousness of sleep.

went to school bright and early this morning with enormous eyebags, painted banners which was rather therapeutic, albeit a tad tiring. fun though. wouldn’t mind painting more banners. haha.

totally drained out — after lunch at this place behind school i never knew existed, i came home, bathed changed and rushed out to meet grace at vivo.  she was late, so while i waited i went to candy empire and bought up tons of chocolate (before realizing that i wouldn’t see the recipients of these gifts until after christmas i.e. in 11 days’ time when school starts) then met up with her and bought some christmas cards and walked randomly around vivo. went over to her house for dinner, then we exchanged our packages of gifts from around the world hahah. vietnam VS usa. HAHA.

so after giving grace, among other things, a bottle of joy and a nike tennis shirt that says “nothing but grace” (totally her), grace gave me a reallllyyyyy cute keychain and this super sweet book featuring cats (!!) and a barney waterbottle which i am so gonna start using

photos coming soon ! i’m going off to JB tmrw, perhaps with my laptop in tow so i can sync my photos properly before uploading them. heh.

i’m so tired. my throat’s sore & i’m falling prey to the flu ): hopefully i get well soon, esp before the OGL camp. i think it’s a lack of sleep that’s making me sick.

our God is an awesome God.

hm. today yesterday was my last day at work. went out to a christmas dinner/buffet and then a walk around town. reached home at like nearly 1am, much to my parent’s displeasure. oops.

feel rather full right now. okay i just feel odd, it’s either extreme hunger or extreme fullness and considering how much i ate just now (when i go on holiday out of asia i’d better bring loose shapeless clothing cause i’m bound to put on weight, i love western food. heh) it shouldn’t be hunger. haha.

omg i’m tired. but i need to wait for my hair to dry so meanwhile i’m bumming out on my new couch which i helped mum move in yesterday watching alias and i have to be in school at 830am tmrw morning, oh my goodness.

no more work next week though. i figure why working people treasure public holidays so much. so now i understand the workings of the adult world a little better.

so maybe i prefer school. haha.

i’m sneezing like mad. i love christmas in orchard at night, it’s beautiful. and i should sleep soon, my eyebags are horrible.

christmas presents, shopping, banking in the pay cheque … so much to do, so little time.

feel a kinda serenity now. no more emo-ness. more of happiness. haha. =)

some things are better left forgotten.

i chanced upon one photo album from the time i was in primary 5 and loved taking photos. i was 11. it’s only 5 years ago.

we didn’t care about unglam shots then. not as much as we do now. and i was looking at some shots where i seemed almost scrawny and i realize i’ve never ever really been fat, even at 7 or 8 when i was (technically) overweight, other than my very chubby facial structure, i’ve been… thin.

it’s something i have to grapple with. maybe this year i didn’t lose that much weight, i just started noticing it.

i used to be so, so happy. you can see the radiance in the photos. i found photos of my 8th birthday party, and i don’t talk to half the people in that photo anymore. friends i’ve totally lost touch with, but some are still my friends. it’s just… wow.

i wonder where i’ll be in another 5 years. there are some friends i’d really like to keep, but i won’t be sad to lose the others. i don’t feel sad now, looking back at those photos with the people i used to be really close to, i don’t feel sad that we aren’t good friends anymore.

i’ve moved on. that’s life.

there are some … i regret though. you know how you think you’ve found your soulmate, the one person who truly understands you … and then you realize you were wrong, all along.

i’ve always asked (God) for the perfect best friend, and now looking back i think i just let one go by letting her drift by. and now we’ve gone so far from each other that we’d probably not even recognize each other anymore.

and what i can’t deal with is that i used to be so, so happy. not like in NJ with all the politics where i have bittersweet triumphs and occasional bouts of joy with the BFFs, but true unadulterated happiness.

i was a real prima donna kid, somehow i’ve lost that. i’ve lost the unnerving, overwhelming, almost cocky confidence that made me (in)famous.

CHIJ is the <3, and looking at those photos i wonder if my true calling in life is a simpler one… of just setting up another CHIJ school in another country, a place where girls get a chance at a holistic education (no by holistic i don’t mean you build your portfolio and get good grades, i mean your character actually gets honed and the school would rather you have morals than As) and perhaps animals can seek refuge too.

STC was home to a few cats. one of which named kittygirl, i really loved her, and she died about one year ago. when i found out i started crying, because i really did love her.

-

in ALIAS, vaughn told sydney this:

“Syd, before you say you’re okay with me going back to the CIA, i need you to know 2 things:
1. i loved you so much, it almost killed me.
2. i don’t regret moving on”

and that’s all i have to say to my past, to the good times, the bad times, and those rebellious preteen angsty bouts, and of course to the people and the things, the schools i loved most.

i’ve moved on.

and if it makes you happy to see me happy, then happy is what i will be.

once an IJ girl, always an IJ girl, & i’m proud to be part of the family.

(: share the love <3

an existential crisis.

time just zoomed past today.

slept at 2, woke up at 11, my eyebags are horrible. watched alias, went out for lunch with fer !! then came home and continued watching alias, finishing up season 3, watching season 4 now.

the highlight of my day was trying to run my troubles away by doing a jogging/sprinting combo around my neighbourhood. so yeah, tried killing myself and burning off all the calories i’ve been eating for the past few days and will be eating in the next few days (i’m in a bingeing mood) but wound up just as messed up as i was when i started.

so i spent the day bumming around, bingeing on anything i could get my hands on, helped mum move the couch for spring cleaning.

tmrw’s my last day of work, next week will be dedicated to OGL stuff, and with that my holidays will come to an end. i need to cash the workpay cheque and get money to go shopping, get christmas presents (!), cut my hair because i’m tired of the long hair. hard to maintain luh.

i dont want to go to ip3.

and now i’m off to eat more cookies. because i’m too lazy to walk out and get ice cream.