KI, history or suicide?

take your pick, between taking KI and dropping history, taking history and not take KI, or taking KI and taking history H1 which is virtual suicide.

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tomorrow, i will sign the sheet of paper Ms Selva’s holding on to right now, and i will agree, by that signature, to take up HLME (+ GP + PW).

as much as GP is really, really boring, and KI is beyond interesting (come on, i <3 MI much,and KI = MI), i cannot quit history, i actually like it. (ditto for LME.)

and i really hope i’m making the right decision.

it was difficult enough to make the decision last year, and now looking at all the fantastic (or not) teachers & combimates that i have, the decision is just alot harder to make, more than ever before. (its minus the tears this time round though. i’m not letting this little problem make my life miserable.)

so thankyou,

nush, grace, bandana, bern, ms selva, johnson, jon, ben sern & justin har,

for your words(/smses/IMs) of advice, and for listening to me wonder (aloud) about dropping GP, about dropping history, and about how much i want to take up KI. i really appreciate all the advice, and it has helped making this difficult decision abit easier.

especially nush, for being my pillar of support when i really needed it. (:

i guess i’ll just hang in there with the good and the bad, because there’s more good than bad. (not forgetting how tough KI is lauded to be.)

you could never see it through my eyes, and i’m too tired to try.

i’m starting to fall sick, and once i get on the bus i whip out my history notes to read and subsequently fall asleep.  i’m looking forward, very much, to chinese new year even though it means eating much when i’ve just managed to bring my weight down again.

yes, i’m obsessive. deal with it or ignore me.

i still love school and i’m still happy, i managed to finish my tutorial and more readings for history, which i’m rather proud of. haha. so i guess it’s HLME and not LMEK, although quite honestly i just fear change. and i’m starting to like history. (i can’t believe i’m saying that either, considering the pile of notes i’ve been given. although things have improved quite drastically. that pile of notes doesn’t look set to increase until after march, phew.)

imma wantwant kid, i want new files and new hairties and so much more even thouugh technically i don’t really need it. like i have plenty of files its just that they arent disney, hence they aren’t muchloved. (i also want another tote. like the nike one i’ve been eyeing for ages.)

i should just find a part time job and get more moolah so i won’t be so broke.

i love this song, very much. i’ve never really been a fan of remixes or mashups but this one’s different, it’s really really good. (:

dance, dance; we’re falling apart to half time.

today, i had so many free periods it came to a point where i wondered what i came to school for. i had less than 5 periods today, but i ended at 340. shizzers. went to the rooftop but wound up falling asleep, went to the library with my OG to study but wound up getting distracted, so after 4 free periods i still hadn’t finished my history notes.

KI/history dilemma must be solved by tomorrow. after one GP lesson and the fact that my history tutorial is due tomorrow shouldn’t really affect my decision, but it is.

today was the first time in 2 weeks i haven’t had debates training, but i wound up coming home late anyway after going out with in-y to town finally bought some of the pens i wanted, guess i’ll run out soon enough and then i’ll get more, except that orchard will no longer have a popular after the one at orchard mrt closes down, which i find quite sad.

everything’s changing.

i’m tired. i’ve started utilizing the 20GB on my iPod by actually listening to all the random compilations that i usually skip in favour of my 25-song playlist of the latest songs people’ve sent to me or that i’ve become addicted to.

well yes, back to work, and maybe even sleeping early for once.

don’t get up, i’ll get through on my own.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN! (:

yes cat high boy, you are taller than me. happy now? xD

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i have the cutest juniors, the sweetest OG and the funnest house (SOLARIANS!)-

i love my life. (and, by extension, NJ!)

2 years ago, i could have never envisaged myself saying that, but other than the KI/history dilenma that i faced during GC today (and still haven’t solved, sadly), i’ve been muchly happy.

ISL meeting today ended too late to go to NYDC ): but the meeting was rather fun, rehashing the whole experience. it’s a process though; not just the trip but the pre and post trip planning/evaluations. dinner with daddy after that at bukit timah market. planned to have pasta but they were closed, so wound up with fried prawn mee and popiah instead, both spicy and dad’s surprised that i can (finally) take spicy food. HAHA.

things change. (and i realized that chilli’s good for health. HAHA.)

after PE, i’ve just been close to collapsing right on the spot from fatigue. tired ): and my thighs are still a flabby bunch of  spotty purple measles, yuck.

so yes, ignoring the obnoxious math tutorial (I MISS THE ALPHARIANS AND ESPECIALLY OUR FABULOUS TEACHERS.) i have due tmrw morning, i’m going to sleep.

look into your heart and you’ll find love.

i’m happy.

it’s 3 syllables, 2 simple words, 1 very short sentence and it summs up my weekend. i could forget that i have school again tomorrow, i’ve been having so much fun and i’ve managed to catch up on my sleep as well, which is just AWESOME

OH YES i got my new ezlink card this morning whoopee, no more adult fare and i have never been so happy that i’m on my concession fares, have never been so glad to see the “have a nice day” that appears for concessionary pass holders.

i’m a fastfood junkie; the weekend has been KFC, subway, lay’s potato chips, MOS, macs fries & milkshake, pasta and chocolate, to top it off i’ve managed to pile on 1kg which i find rather saddening. pfft.

well yes, DEP today, and KAP afterwards with the-one-i-havent-gone-out-with-in-2-entire-months which i find quite a long time, really. was supposed to be clearing up my (insane) history workload but wound up catching up about the latest going ons. ahah. i did finish 1 out of 5 chapters of one set of my 10? 12? sets of notes.

it’s better than nothing okay!

i’m starting to enjoy history though. it’s interesting. the notes are just alot, it’s not that they’re really dry or anything, it’s just the sheer amount that’s scary.

I NEED TO GO SHOPPING. i think popular has died out because they used to be really big but they’re now TINY and dont have much stuff. SIGH.

and now, back to finish the econs & math tutorial i’ve neglected, and to finish reading history. it doesn’t look that bad, really. just that it’s… alot. HAHA.

i’m burnt and my back hurts and my thighs are still oddly ugly blotchy from playing handiplus. i look like i have a bad case of sporadic measles. ahah.

chivalry’s dead but you’re still kinda cute.

SOLARIS HOUSE OUTING TODAY

i have the cutest juniors and the funnest J1s around, so despite the fact that i was rather saddened no one from my OG turned up ): i had ALOT of fun because the OG19 & 08/07IP03ers were just the right mix of enthusiasm. and they’re nice people too ahaha.

not forgetting the OGLs/J2s who came, especially lynette who poned tuition ahah.

i started off the day badly cos i overslept and mum forgot to iron my clothes, so after waking up at 10 and ironing my clothes i somehow managed to get to vivo around 1040, then quickly went shopping for food and met up with the rest at the MRT station. i guess i fulfilled all the duties of being i/c, heh.

well yes, hours of much fun, water, sand and games (including asshole taitee at vivo rooftop after dinner which was hilarious), i’ve also concluded that sea water is awfully salty and observed (sadly) that today the sun wasnt out enough because I’M NOT SUNBURNT ): well, making people do forfeits is really fun, although getting whacked by my wonderful junior jingho during handiplus wasnt. HAHA.

it’s not very clear in the pic, but i have blueblack marks. ):

(although i think his thigh’s worse off than mine =x)

i think i am a total scammer, who convinces people i’m J2 and i have real brothers even though i’m very happily an only child other than a brief period when i was 12 and wished i had an older brother, but i’m totally over that so other than the boys whom i’m close to and view as brothers/ sworn brothers i don’t actually have any siblings. HA.

my juniors are SO CUTE. ahah. all of them, really. and they’re tiny. most of them, at least. i expect they’ll grow, but i should be out of NJ by then.

i can’t believe i’m actually kinda sad at the prospect of leaving NJ at the end of next year, especially when i used to hate it so much. but i guess things change, and i actually love my school alot now. (:

& tomorrow’s looking good too, which just reinforces my bouyancy and joy WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE to life, <3!

what will it take to make you see, what seems to be right in front of me.

i look awful, my eyebags are disgusting, i have so many things i’m supposed to do that i don’t even bother keeping track anymore, i just look at tomorrow’s timetable and think about which subject’s more important.

on a brighter side, i get a new ezlink card on sunday once i go down to tiong. apparently my ezlink card was spoilt. whatever. i’m getting reimbursed for the adult fare that i’ve been paying, so yay (:

TJC semis today, and the IP2s didn’t make it to finals, but i’m still proud of them for putting up a good fight

anyway today i realized i forgot to thank one very important person for my grade in chinese, someone who probably won’t read this and no it’s not the teacher, it’s my best friend in chinese class for the past 2 years — mengyuan. thank you for never giving up on me, for always encouraging me and for helping me whenever i needed help. i would have never been able to make it without you, and if there’s anyone i need to thank it’s you. so thank you (:

slept soundly on the bus ride home today, i actually left the school before the moon and stars came out. last night i found an abridged version of great expectations to gloss over before i buy the unabridged version for lit, and i found this whole treasure trove of puffin classics dad handpicked for me from the UK/US when i was like, 7. and up till 14 i was reading alot, and then i came to NJIP and i somehow stopped reading. i feel so bad because dad’s spent alot of time buying me books in both english & then, later on, in chinese as well. i feel like i’ve somehow let him down by not reading those english books enough (there are one or two i’ve never touched, and most i’ve just read once or twice.) and by not touching most of the chinese books he bought for me from shanghai a few years back, so thankfully i’ve done well in my HCL chinese O levels, and i’ll give lit my all which won’t be difficult because doing lit again has just reminded me how much i totally love lit.

so yes, i guess i live a happy, albeit fatigued life. solaris outing tmrw, and i hope it goes well since i’m i/c of it! ahah. but i’m looking forward to a day out at sentosa anyway, even though i feel awful right now but i guess i’l be fine tomorrow… hopefully. (:

in a midnight talk, in a morning kiss.

MY POST JUST GOT DELETED TWICE OMG I HATE WORDPRESS DAMNIT.

WELL YES. today i decided to face reality,

1. with my HCL O level results, where i did better than expected (: it’s not an A1, but it’s close enough, and i’m quite happy because i achieved what i aimed for when i started taking HCL in sec1.

i’m sad for those who didn’t do as well as they deserved to, but at the same time i’m happy for those who scored well and for all my friends who scored <10, CONGRATS, you can stay in NJ/AC/VJ/wherever and i’m secretly envious of those in AC. heh.
2. and i guess KI doesn’t look that easy, and history doesn’t look that difficult, so i guess i’m back to square one where the past comes back to haunt me

3. and gave up trying to control my crazy binges because i was so nervous i just kept stuffing myself with food, be it chocolates or biscuits or very sinful but very nice meiji chocolate ice cream, a big meal at breakfast/lunch/dinner, sausages & dumplings and etc, etc, etc.

the rest of my week will be spent trying to get some sleep and at the same time, find time to go shopping for a disney files from pageone/similar for my history notes, great expectations, p.s i love you, 0.4 or finer pens for lit, and get the disney/little mermaid bottle from popular

tmrw: double whammy of history/econs due that i’m trying to rush out now + TJC U16 semi/finals, JIAYOU IP2s (:

Solaris house outing on saturday, and then DEP on sunday, and in summation… WHEE!

p.s: i love you.

and i can’t believe it’s only going to come out on valentine’s day, because i was so looking forward to it coming out in january so i could catch it before work starts to overwhelm me.it being a movie that seems pretty cool (link), it’s next on my booklist after “great expectations” which is my lit text.

i really hope everyone gets what they want tmrw, although life isn’t about fairness, sadly.

i’ve been bingeing madly on chocolates, but at least my head doesn’t hurt anymore, and i don’t feel like crying either, so yay! (: and i finally dug up long overdue christmas letters that i suppose i’ll give out tmrw.

how oppurtune.

what if i told you, it was all meant to be?

so would you believe me, would you agree?

maybe if you were Neo and believed that people were in control of their own fates, you wouldn’t. but regardless, a cursory glance of the KI notes today proved to be exceedingly interesting, further fuelling my interest to quit GP.

but today i just felt under the weather, with weird mean thoughts emotionally floating through my head, and it was only on my way home that i realized the head was aching and spinning and splitting apart because i slept with my hair wet last night, oh wow.

waking up with a puffy lion’s mane gave me a nice floppy fringe though. although considering the sneezing and the headache and slight fever… not worth it.

met fer on the bus this morning !! and we realized that my hair grows super fast, so maybe it’s time for a uh, pre-cny haircut since i can’t cut it during/after CNY because of weird traditions. heh.

anyway i felt horrible today. i think i very badly need sleep. i’m not looking forward to the prospect of results tomorrow.

and i lost my history notes. sigh.