i got my hands in my pocket and my head in a cloud.

okay, so i am in love, and robert pattinson does make quite a good edward.
‘cept that edward looks perfect from… all angles. (fine, robert pattinson does too.)
i really do wish edward did NOT just exist in a book. or a movie. sigh.
and so i finally finished reading the entire 4 books in the twilight series. it took… 5 days.

i would read it again, ‘cept that it would make me irrevocably in love with edward which is not good cause he really doesn’t exist and i know that so i should like, yeah face the real world ):
oh yeah, and it wouldn’t be good to start crying all over again when they say goodbye, even though i KNOW that there’s a happy ending.

anyway watched the house bunny today with suzy, and it was a completely utterly brainless movie that was a relaxing comedy i quite enjoyed. the music was utterly cheesy though, albeit fitting.

IM JUST SO TIRED ITS NOT FAIR. although staying up to read the twilight series night after night has taken its rightful toll on me. thankfully, i did not discover the series until promos were over. now i’m waiting for another series to grip, enthrall, and delight me.
however unlikely that may be, for i doubt there has been another character so fascinating to read about like edward. (rowling just.. writes well, like cabot)

that I would be good even if I lost sanity;

don’t ask silly questions and you won’t get lies-
i wonder how much the human conscience revolves around the above thought.

and so i spent the fabulous day at the beach, just hanging out and having much fun,
racing through searing hot sand and across an equally fiery bridge,
walking along a short shoreline (talking and turning back every few steps),
and i guess i remember why i love sentosa so much -
life there’s more exhilarating and the sun just makes me feel so … alive.

sentosa, again, soon.
Meanwhile, i’m only a few shades darker ): but i really wanna finish the last instalment of twilight, as much i i really don’t want this to end ): for now, back to reading!

good morning, sunshine!

i finished book 3, new moon, in the space of mere hours.
say, 2 or 3am till now, 6.45am in the morning.
that’s within 5 hours — i’ve never been so obsessed!

i finished this book with NO TEARS but smiles
similar to the first.
hopefully this doesn’t mean the 4th (and the last) will be another crying scene.
i doubt it though – edward’s isn’t gonna leave again (i peeked at the wiki synopsis)

maybe i’m becoming like the vampires who don’t need sleep –
but who am i kidding, i think GJ’s mocha chiller kept me up,
as well as adrenaline.

at least i’m happy

like a machine they’ll fix you from the start;

have you ever loved someone so much it hurt?
i’m not sure if loving someone to that extent would be a curse, because of the hurt, or a blessing, because you’ve found someone worthy of this love.
but with bella and edward (!!) i’m probably crying as much as i’m laughing through this novel.
which is completely insane, but i’m in love with edward still.

now that promos are over, i’m actually starting to think about how the papers were,
and those aren’t very good thoughts.
in fact, added to the (almost suicidal) fear of losing my scholarship, i now have a new fear of flunking so badly i have to drop a subject. (not a pleasurable thought. i’m trying unsuccessfully to block it out)

i wish life could be as simple as … actually, i’m not sure what my simple life would entail, except maybe alot of books and alot of music and alot of pen and paper so i can write. alone on some island.

but today was the 3rd day of celebrations (determined to make the most out of this before i kill myself over my results) and dmzxz and i decided to take a tour around the airport!!
yeah and despite changi being so ulu, it wasn’t that empty, surprisingly!
i’ve been to the airport so many times this year that terminal 2’s a familiar place now. with so many wonderful memories, like from the thailand trip and the brunei/BM people coming. i can still feel the excitement i felt then.
went to gloria jean’s (one more stamp to a free drink!!!!!!) and i read more of “new moon”, the second book in the twilight series and tried not to cry because it was really sad.
today i tried a mocha chiller which was really really good!!! (so much for trying to get off coffee before i get addicted to it.) i wish i had unlimited GJ vouchers, i really like that place.

i really, really should listen to happier songs. i’m getting all emo and the fact that edward and bella aren’t happily together (YET!) isn’t making me happier.
the entire set of books is also going to set me back by almost 80 bucks. i’m still thinking about it, especially as the eBooks sit on my desktop and the hardcopy sits (borrowed) in my living room.

and there’s redemption calling; and causing all to sing.

this song just speaks to me; i hope it speaks to you.
despite my recent obsession with twilight (that is eroding my sanity; as i went all the way to lavania’s house just to borrow the 2nd and 4th book from her sister. THANKS! i also got the 3rd eBook from jon, so there’s a complete series) this song spoke to me.
i really don’t think i could have made it through this week without God silently by my side, supporting me, and for the people He put in my life to keep me sane.

father will you come; by unhindered (click HERE for the youtube video)

There’s a love, forgetting my failures.
There’s a hope, that’s setting me free.
There’s a light, defeating my darkness.

And there’s redemption calling,
And causing all to sing

[Chorus]
Father will You come and open up our eyes.
Fill us with Your love, renew us with Your life.
Consume us with Your Majesty, consume us with Your Majesty

There’s a peace, that’s calming my waters.
There’s a joy, that’s setting me free.
He’s the light defeating my darkness.

[Chorus]

Glory, Honor, and power, belong to you. (x6)

there’s a hope that’s setting me free.

i want to go out and buy the whole set of twilight books right now.
NOW NOW NOW.
except that everywhere is jammed thanks to the grand prix, and i don’t feel like moving.

okay i’m in a tremendously good mood now; in between the words above and what i’m typing now, i searched up the internet for EVERYTHING I COULD FIND on TWILIGHT (i.e. FAQ) cos i didn’t want spoilers for the 2nd book. AND THEN i tried to find the eBook for the second book but FAILED so i asked computer genius jon who promptly told me “oh. i have it.”

anyway so while i wait for him to finish his game i shall ramble about my rather splendid day that was just marred by the fact that no edward cullen has appeared (YET). dance class was FUN i talked to the new girl in class and successfully executed a pirohuette. although promos have left me in a bad state; my back was aching halfway through class and i was just famished from the exertion even though i had a rather big breakfast. i want to go back to running, but i’m also scared

lunch with dad was fabbbbb. it was the second post-promo celebration i’ve had, after mum’s yesterday. i have a few more upcoming and i’m eagerly anticipating it. we had western food and CHOCOLATE FONDUE which left me feeling super full. then we went to the library but the WHOLE twilight series is OUT ON LOAN AND RESERVED.

youth was good; closest i’ve felt to God in weeks and well basically i’m grateful He got me through this week without too much damage (from me unto the world).

back to watching the TWILIGHT TRAILERS.
(i swear i’m going to marry edward cullen. I MUST. there is no other.)

oh and this morning at 2am, i finished the first fabulous book in the series. then obsessed to grace about it (amongst other things) until about 4am where we both decided it was time to get some sleep! hoho. i like this period, in between promos and the PW rush, because i’m getting to do the things i really want, like late night phone calls to my best friend. i think when the hectic lifestyle starts again, these are the moments i’m gonna look back to.

I said there’s someone I’m waiting for if it’s a day, a month, a year

yesterday as i was writing my lit paper, the green field beckoned to me. i went back to scrawling in rapid motion across my paper, but right now i know how good it feels to be free.

i spent the morning mourning the rain, cos i planned to go out to sentosa! ): lazed about and watched disaster movie which was seriously omg beyond stupid, so i let my brains zone out and vegetate for a while. wanted to go swimming or for a run but i was just too sleepy so i dozed/napped around.

then went to visit mum at her workplace. started reading twilight (by stephenie meyer) on the way there and i’m 3/4 through the book now, gonna stay up through the night to finish it. that book is pure bliss, just like chocolate for the mind. all await november 21st for the twilight movie to be out! i think tomorrow i’ll make daddy buy me the entire series i think i’ve sufficiently convinced dad about my suffering this week heh.

and i’m in love; i’ve decided that i want to marry edward cullen (or similar).
i think i’m a sufficient klutz who requires protection, and i don’t care that he’s a vampire.
no, i don’t care that he might kill me, because it will be worth it if i can ever find a love so beautiful.

this afternoon i was musing about how i wished i could write the perfect love story;
but with this book i think i’ve found the perfect love story for a soul that has spent too much of the past few weeks on hardcore academic content, and unlike a trashy mindless girly novel this has got some depth, so it’s not that jarring a change.

i’m going back to my book now! only this time i actually want to, unlike in the past weeks.

a note to estella (but not from pip)

Dear Estella,

I don’t really know how to tell you this, but i dislike you. I think I realized it when you put cuffs on me at the mental hospital and I saw you sit on my best friend. I’m sure you’re scarred enough to understand that there’s no solution to this. I’m returning your ring to you, but I’ll keep your left ear as a memory. You should also know that I never openly mocked your eggplant fetishism.

Good luck on your short-term leave from jail,
Lee Jing

here’s how you do it! (taken from gill’s blog! haha thanks.)

you still take my breath away;

i’m free! (promos are finally, finally over.)

i forgot to hand in eagles form!!! gah.
i feel quite crappy about myself, and i have had so many regrets this week, of doing too much and of doing too little. then again i don’t think this week has gone all that well for anyone, anyway.

i’m just so glad that i have ONE WEEK OFF SCHOOL WHOOHOO.
i have been eating and bingeing and being so stressed out that i need to snack every hour, or constantly chew on something just to stay awake – and now, enough of those days.
running/tanning/ going out and NOT studying… will feel good.

lit today went okay, i was freaking out before the exam but the exam was… half okay (i hope) and half rather terrible (i wish not, though).

but most of the world is busy studying for tomorrow’s exam, so instead of going out, i’m at estella’s house instead, slacking while she studies. haha.

(i would love to say that i can finally sleep soundly now, but i’m still about fraught with worry! sigh.)

anyway!! there are a few people i need to thank, because without them i would not have made it through this week
estella, the best study buddy in the world!
grace, for always being there and never giving up on me.
dmxz, for trying to salvage my econs and math and always being there.
nush, gillian, lavania, xiangyin, xiuhui, jeremy, leo and everyone else for their luck/care/concern/help with hist/lit.
(oh and for math, i’d like to make a special thankyou to chris for teaching me functions, because that completely saved my life!)

your eyes, are the brightest of all the colours;

one more to go, but i’m acting like it’s over.
gill gave me super strong coffee today, plus i had a cuppa of cappuccino at GJ’s just now. i think coffee is the only thing keeping me alive, apart from the excessive amounts of food i am eating because i get hungry every other hour now so the snacks in my house are rapidly depleting!

i didn’t have to study for murder in the cathedral, because what i knew, i knew from before. and what i didn’t, no amount of rote memorizing could save. i feel so stupid for having wasted so much time trying to memorize something when lit isn’t so much about memorizing but understanding.

and then i didn’t study math, i studied history instead.
but i didn’t study enough for history, cos maybe, just maybe i’m not cut out to take history.
(but then i can tell you what happens; i just can’t freaking analyse, which is bizarre, cos debates is supposed to have taught me that, but yet i can’t apply it to history.)
so my math paper sucked (and i ran out of the hall, crying) but i didn’t even have time to mourn it cos i had to try to salvage my history, and all i did still wasn’t enough.

so i did too much for the first 2 papers, didn’t do enough for the next, but hopefully with my last paper tmrw i’ll have gotten it just right. but whatever; freedom awaits!

THE GJ PEOPLE KNOW ME, AND I DON’T KNOW IF THIS IS FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE.
like, you’re supposed to give your name at the counter and i always give mine as “LJ” or “lee”, and today the guy just passed me the receipt and it had “LJ” on it — but he didn’t ask me my name. and he stamped my card THRICE, for one drink. i think he realizes that HE FORGOT TO GIVE ME A CARD THE PAST DOZEN TIMES I HAVE BEEN THERE so he feels bad.
i dunno if it’s a good or a bad thing the GJ people know me. maybe i should make friends with them so i can get discounts on my drinks there!