As we walked we were talking and I didn’t say half the things I wanted to.

FER CAME DOWN TO NJ TODAY
absolute awesomeness. made my (otherwise quite lousy) day
we watched the acjc vs dhs soccer match. and soccer is actually quite interesting.

today, i really wished i could redo last year.
i’d go watch the soccer nationals. i’d go watch the softball nationals.
i’d do my math homework.
i’d… treasure what i’ve got in front of me.

i guess i need to be contented. stop being so picky. overanalytical.
but sometimes, i want to be contented too, but i don’t think it’s just my fault :/

SIGH.
i am so tired that i keep falling asleep! and i am such a BUM.
i am going to sleep early so i can stop feeling so tired.
i think a lack of sleep SEVERELY affects my emotional state ):

okay but i know this – next year, i dont wanna regret what i’ve done this year.

on another note, 2.4km run today was ohkay. i ran under 14
but its a not very good timing. 13mins 50 seconds which is a deprovement from last year, but still good considering that i havent really been running.
i miss running.
maybe the lack of exercise is screwing up my brain.

or leave tonight and vanish up the shore.

OMGOSH i think i am insane!!
bought a whole lot of shirts (total count: 13) from threadless, not just for myself but for other people too HAHAH I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE SHIRTS TO COME!!!
stayed up till 1am settling that,
then ended up talking to dmzxz online until 3am??? zomg.
so i survived today on 3 hours of sleep. (and i actually survived today!)

yeah, somehow, newts are the latest fashion.
i think they are really ugly! HAHAH.
and my music taste has deviated from leona lewis/taylor swift and back to tbs, olp, sr-71 and now, a new addition, jack johnson.
which i am slowly discovering based on the usual good recommendation of a certain genius with good music taste. HAHA

threadless has such awesome shirts omgosh!

pity it was out of stock or i would totally have gotten it.

i hope this is there during the next sale still!

i think this is quite funny!!

okay but the ones that i bought aren’t the ones i have featured above! haha.
today was a random day. i’ve been talking to old friends/ old friends have been talking to me and i think the best thing about good friends is that even after not talking for a long time, things are still okay.
i hope that when As are over, i’ll remember to spend time with all my old friends, like finally!!!
lunch was pastamania with estella then went to GJ’s!! after so long. but today the music they played was TOO GOOD. like, super soothing and sleep inducing so it was quite bad.
okay and despite napping the past few hours away, i think i am still quite tired so… GOODNIGHT!

don’t it feel like sunshine after all?

i forgot how much i liked sr-71.
i’ve been avoiding that playlist for a few months now, cos i thought it consisted of too many emo songs, but today i decided to risk it and while it did make me a little thoughtful, i think its not heartwrenchingly tear-my-heart-out emo.
not anymore, at least.

today started off with going to church which was fine,
then yearly trips to the *&^*&% temple.
where i basically acted like a total prima donna.

but honestly, there is no other tradition as harmful to the environment as that of “qingmingjie”!
not only is incense, joss sticks, PAPER burnt, releasing carbon dioxide into the environment, and PLAGUEING everyone in the area with its toxic fumes,
the amount of PAPER that goes into the whole business is KILLING TREES FOR NO GOOD REASON.
seriously, there are model cars and model slippers and BOXES of paper just being burnt… ALL FOR NOTHING!
material costs of these REDUNDANT things aside, its still utter wastage!
not to mention how the ashes of the stuff that’s burnt is hard to clear up, and therefore dirties our surroundings.

logically, this was why, when i was walking, keeping to myself, and this can of joss sticks which i didn’t see suddenly just appeared and burnt 2 holes in the side of my arm (YES. its not just harmful to the environment, but to humans too) i just LOST IT and i swear i wanted to just burn the whole place down.

today i feared for my grandma. i realized that she never accepted christ. so maybe she’s in hell now. does that actually happen? but she was a good person. :/ still, i don’t see the need to pray for her in the temple.
i can pray for her just fine at home, in church, or anywhere.
perhaps anywhere, except the temple, where my mind gets completely clouded by the smoky fumes that scream “get out, this is a danger zone!”

okay so yeah. bad mood.

thank God it was over pretty fast and i was off to vivo to meet estella

i found a good place to take pictures!

b came down to cheer me up too
so my day ended up being a really good day after all,
what with my fav. pals to make me happy

we share the sadness – split screen sadness.

i am shopping on threadless !! how exciting.
saturday nights should be spent like this, aimlessly online
hopefully dad lets me buy stuff
although i feel this whole guilty thing cos i have a ton of history to study for the looming history test

i showed dad my vietnam pics i dont think he was very impressed though.
mum brought home satay for supper
i think weekends are where i get fat.
tomorrow will be the first time in a long time that my parents are talking.
or rather, they will have no choice but to interact and it will almost surely end up in shouting, so tomorrow i will be traumatised and unhappy not just because i’m going to a disgusting, smelly temple, but because of my family.

oddly enough. family is supposed to make you happy.
not happening for me.

okay i really hope dad lets me buy the stuff!!

the bottle saved my life.

i have joined the rungs of camwhores with over 1,000 tagged pictures on facebook.
i think i could have joined it earlier if people weren’t so lazy to tag. especially considering how i think some of my photos are conveniently left untagged cos i’m just too lazy. heh.

i am… kinda glad it’s friday. at least, i see some sleep in sight.
but every week just fades into another and it’s just. not fun.

pe today was horrid. running 2.4km in the scorching 2pm sun after many weeks of inactivity in 15 minutes (which is a bad timing for me) has given me backache! grrr.

i think the lack of sleep is really, really starting to affect me.
on the bright side, cough and flu’s starting to look better WHEE!

went out with suzy today felt good to just hang out after so long.
i haven’t been to raffles city in aaaaaggggeees.
and i haven’t had donuts in forever either.

maybe that’s what’s wrong.
life should be simple. like a box of glazed donuts.

what happened to us; we feel like strangers from a recent past.

i am rapidly, avidly trying to clear my inbox.
it had about 12 pages of messages, including 50+ unread messages
but i have now cut it to THREE pages. and ZERO unread messages

i know for my phone inbox i need to clear it every few days. haha.

today i felt quite helpless!
i was doing math and i felt so, so low.
and now, i feel like i have this neverending load of work to do,
and i feel like there’s no break in sight.
my life seems to be chunks of 6 months, because i never do get the week holiday in march or september to recharge.

sigh.

i miss last year.
i mss alot of things about last year.
like how i didn’t have to care about school.
life was simpler. it revolved around trying to be happy.
escaping to the rooftop. sitting at the grandstand watching the sky.
i remember going through a donut phase that was fun.
and other silly things. bimbotic things. stupid things.

there’s so many things that will never come again,
but i never realized how much those moments meant to me.
i guess right now, i’m probably letting some prime moments slip by too.

i think i need my sleep to function properly.
so these stupid thoughts, don’t mess up my head.
i guess alot can change in a year,
and i’m just wondering, what’s gonna change one year from now.

Because these things will change.
Can you feel it now?
These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down.
This revolution, the time will come for us to finally win.
And we’ll sing hallelujah, we’ll sing hallelujah

You know you got me off my highest guard.

i was so exhausted that upon reaching home, i promptly dozed off on the couch and slept through quite a few messages.
only waking up an hour later when mum came back with yoghurt
feeling quite drowsy now.
and this is BEFORE i take my medication haha.

anyway, BIG NEWS TODAY.

my lit h3 research proposal…. HAS BEEN APPROVED
i thank God that it managed to come back with a tick, and not a “no you need to find another topic”.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

oh and on another note.
i also think that lately. i might be a little too frank on the wrong things, and not serious enough, or politically correct enough, perhaps too informal on some thing, so yeah. i think i need to be abit more serious. i find that i can slip back and forth but i can’t joke around for the rest of my days that would not be quite desirable.
so yes, no more being self-deprecreating.

and….i am really tired!! ):
so glad that tomorrow we start later.
even though we’re being cheated of the half day :X

today i went back in time to listen to secondhand serenade.
i was really into that, over a year ago. seems so far away.
too distant for me to remember clearly.
now the songs are just somewhat familiar lyrics to hear.
i guess everything changes, even if we want things to stay the same.
sometimes, i guess, it’s for the better.

my facebook pictures are not uploading properly.
it takes super long, and at the end of it, the upload fails.
I am quite depressed about it!

you’re on my heart just like a tattoo.

im suddely a fan of tracy chapman.
music’s gotten abit boring lately. too much emo material to avoid.
its slowly getting better though.
i’m fine so long as i don’t get an emo song overload.
and then start thinking, and start thinking too much.
and doubting, and having stupid thoughts come up.

but i’m seeing things with a new clarity now.
so maybe the emo songs can come all they want,
and i’ll be okay.

today was a good day!
even though i started it off really, really drowsy.
but had a BIG BIG LUNCH at bukit timah food centre with B

absolute awesomeness!

i also think i am getting better.
i think it is because i am breathing in cleaner air now.
b thinks its cos i have been in “good company”

WELL either way i need/want to get better,
enough to put up with being medicated to the extent of drowsiness.
partially cos im really growing quite fat,
and i can’t run until i get better ):

heads on a silence apart.

today was horrid i kept falling asleep cos i was so tired!!! ):

ANYWAY OKAY BACK TO RECAP OF TRIP.

HCM WAS HOT. really hot.
especially after hanoi which was super cold.
shopping was good bought a few nice tops, and a nice dress.
i am going to shape my wardrobe into more dresses.
i’ve already succeeded in having more long tops
also bought my new kipling bag
was abit sore cos there was a lesportsac i really wanted but the size was bad and the time was bad and the price was bad and ahwell.
maybe next time.

hanoi is a city with personality, to quote gill.
i think hanoi is quite quaint, old, but pretty.
terribly polluted, horrifyingly cold, but the beauty of the town is almost worth it.
it’s decaying slowly, but has strong french accents and the architecture is very classic, very unique, and its a pleasure to look at.
hcm has some of these buildings, but not enough because rapid mordernization has made the buildings more… singaporean :X
thankfully though, there is less pollution there, it’s not chillingly cold, AND I CAN SEE THE SKY.

i love it, low-rise buildings cleared out so i get a clear view of the sky.

i think my house in the future has to have a good view of the sky.

i forgot how much i missed HCM until i went back,
and now i think i’ll go back again.
this time, NO MORE TOURIST-Y STUFF.
am terribly sick of cu chi tunnels and reunification palace after having gone through it TWICEEEE. zomg. first time was mildly interesting and the second time was just…

PAINFUL.

okay but the hcm mausoleum in hanoi was pretty cool!!
got to see hcm’s emblamed body which i found freaky, but something i’m glad to have done.

photos up on facebook … soon.
today i bought like 20bucks worth of medicine for the next week or so,
hopefully i can get well soon.

today i had problems breathing. but at least i’m not coughing like a bronchitis patient anymore!

and now, time for SLEEP

where i belong, where i keep my heart & soul.

IM HOME.
FINALLY.

tiredddd ):
lugged about (10.3 kg + 2.3 kg + 5.6 kg = ) 18.2 kg back home by myself.
unpacked abit, then went out to vivo.

the sunset today was awesome. like a welcome home present.

company was good too

dinner was great. lasagne never tasted better. i’m sick of bread/ham/beef/noodles.
then tried hunting for medicine but the pharmacists werent around so i guess that’s something to do tomorrow.

i am actually free tmrw. that feels good.
(okay but not exactly free considering how much work i need to do but haven’t done cos i’ve been in vietnam. having fun and being tortured, alternatingly.)

vietnam was okay i guess.
hanoi was too cold, but the viet hosts were awesome.
taking motorbikes was also a great experience.
however, the sucky hotel really just sucked.
huong duong SUCKS. don’t ever go there man.
but on the last day in hanoi we went to ha long bay which was really nice!

(more pictures on facebook soon!)

and then.. COOL HOTEL. (seriously, thats the name of the hotel)



which was AWESOME. kristy and i EACH had a queen sized bed to ourselves (to sleep on, and to JUMP ON!), plus LCD tv, plus bathtub (which i made full use of), PLUS couch, plus a big open area that could probably fit another bed.

then the next day was an internal flight from hanoi to HCM.

i lovelovelove going on aeroplanes. and lovelovelove window seats.

then hcm. and i keep falling asleep at my laptop, so more tmrw