God is sovereign over everything & although times are tough, i can truly testify that God does not test you beyond what you can take. today i felt quite disappointed about my math, but something big just happened to cheer me up immensely, and i now feel like i’ve got the strength to go on…
everything i am, for Your kingdom’s cause.
my life right now is made up of many decisions, manny things to be concerned about, but this weekend i took time out to sort out my future and i’m praying that everything will be alright. and of course it will be, because God has got a wonderful plan for me…. i just don’t know it yet. and you know what?
i’m opening myself to other options now. i’ve realized that what i wanted might not be what God wants for me… so i might not get it. but it’s okay. there’s always something else in store… all i can do is try my best.
yeah. i don’t think trust is an issue now. not anymore. and i’m gradually dealing with all my insecurities too.
this weekend i signed up for SATs, submitted my UCAS, and probably most importantly, committed myself to joining the worship ministry from mid-december onwards 
and can i just say that i’m looking forward to the last item the most?? i’ve been wanting to join worship ministry since i first started coming to PPH. its probably where i think i can contribute best, at least for now.
anyway i’m gonna try to sleep early tonight, and wake up early to get a prime seat at marina starbucks tmrw gonna get my 4th starbucks passport hehe. loving starbucks ABIT too much.
looking forward to my post-As plans… but meanwhile i’m gonna try to enjoy studying. today was econs and it was actually not bad EXCEPT FOR the MC/MR diagram…. which plagues my life 
tomorrow is southeast asian history, hopefully i can finish compiling my notes!!
…. so, to everyone who’s taking A levels, HOPE YOU HAVE A PRODUCTIVE DAY TOMORROW, AND A PRODUCTIVE WEEK TO COME
i realized i haven’t been blogging lately. from being an avid blogger, i have pretty much moved base over to twitter and tumblr. but i haven’t really been tumbling much either!
anyway. school’s out. i’m actually quite happy that i’ve reached the end of my junior college education, and possibly my education in singapore. it has been so, so tough going through the last few weeks. having to live with a non-revamped timetable despite having heard about this exciting 3-day week since i was IP1 and looking forward to it since. the unfairness, the idea of this being unjust, probably contributed to alot of sour feelings i felt towards the end.
i know what i will miss about this school. i will miss the grandstand, i will miss some of my lessons because my teachers are just so, so good (i don’t just mean Mr Whitby, although he is really brilliant), i will miss the rooftop. i thought i’d miss LT5, but i haven’t performed there at all this year so i guess i’ve lived through “missing that”.
i know i will miss my friends, but i hope that having infinite time (okay, somewhat infinite) will mean spending more quality time with them rather than the quantitative time we spend now.
and i also think the “END” hasn’t really hit me just yet because i’ve never been so calm, and so not tearful, about “goodbye” before. perhaps also because this is NOT the end – there’s still A levels and i’ll still have to don my greys a few times a week. no more morning assembly and being scared of the penalties of latecoming though 
but yeah. just thought i should blog to mark the occasion.
oh but the main point of this post is actually to THANK GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
my room is in a CHRONIC MESS because i somehow just can’t keep it meticulously tidy. plus i like the random mess. i know vaguely where everything is. it’s NOT SO GOOD when i’m looking for result slips, because i tend to put them “somewhere”. especially my IP transcripts because they reminded me of alot of negative feelings i had eg. having my grade point average pulled down because i did badly in science, even though i did well in the humanities + math. but i DID put them all together when i applied for my humanities scholarship about 2 years ago. and then i lost the entire envelope. results slips for last year + this year were easier to find, i placed them somewhere (but together) in the mess ‘cos the subjects printed were my favourite subjects. or at least relatively more likeable than my other options.
so i sat at my table, prayed fervently, and started searching. i need it to apply to univerisity, and for scholarships. AND GUESS WHAT. LESS THAN 10 MINUTES LATER, I FOUND IT. it being the envelope with everything. despite having gone hunting (without praying) a few days ago and coming out of it empty handed after half an hour. AWESOME OR NOT?
so yes – THANK YOU GOD
it may seem like a small thing, but i can see God working in my life
in other news – i had lunch with daddy today at botak jones!! i love their sides; baked cheese potato and spicy fries ftw.
thank you all for your prayers, help, guidance, in one way or another -
i have survived prelims, and i’m quite satisfied with my grades (:
PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
this feels like promos all over again. and that’s a good feeling
today was well, mixed.
no more results, i’m okay with what i’ve got so far.
very happy for econs, happy for GP, not happy but not depressed over history and math, but slightly worried for math.
and now i’m all tense waiting for lit tmrw.
yesterday my ipod hung and i felt my world FREEZE. i kid you not.
today i decided to leave my options “more open”, as one would say.
tomorrow decides ALOT of what i’ve been fretting about.
i’m kinda terrified, the what-if scares me because i don’t know what else i’d do other than what i’ve planned so far and if i can’t do that i’ll be this lost soul again. but at the same time, i’m glad that it’s come down to the crunch and i can quite calmly decide what exactly i’m going to do, and right now i’m just praying that everything will be alright, but if it doesn’t then it just means i’ve gotta do some rethinking.
but for the record, i thank God for all my grades!!!!!!!!! SERIOUSLY!!!!
i have seen miracles, HUGE improvements (eg up 3 grades for econs), better-than-expected grades (thought i would do badly for GP compre, was convinced i had bombed SBQ for history.. which i kind of did still BUT not as badly as i thought) and surprise grades like for math…………………………………………. which just means i’ve gotta work harder, and i’m taking it in my stride.
i feel abit like how i felt when i was preparing for promos last year. this whole thing, it’s all in God’s hands. the most important thing isn’t your grades, but how you got there, and what kind of person you are.
and i know that all i have, well, it isn’t all As or anything, but anything that looks moderately good, i can say – all glory to God! because it isn’t me. no, definitely not. far from that. it’s by God’s grace.
so yes, thank you God for everything!!!!
okay this week has been pretty insane; haze has been horrible, news of typhoons and earthquakes makes it seem like the world’s going to end, and i’m addicted to tumblr, don’t have enough sleep, not studying enough. OH AND I AM so glad ris low is NO LONGER Miss singapore. OH AND ALSO. i cut my hair. FINALLY. quite like my new hairstyle
oh and yeah prelims don’t seem to be so good either! but today prolly rescued da week. dinner was botak jones at clementi. was already super hungry to start with BUT got lost so walked around IN CIRCLES (i kid you not) so i was famished by the time we finally sat down at bota jones. queue was rather long, waiting time also. but the food was good +++ i feel super contented now SO IT WAS WORTH IT
i also watched v for vendetta for the THIRD time earlier this week. had aston’s TWICE this week (!!) and also went to starbucks twice this week grahh my 3rd starbucks card is one drink away from finishing :/
i also realized earlier this week that i have put on quite alot of weight over the prelimz period :/ sigh i hate being fatt. but it’s okay, this just means no more late night suppers and snacking!!
yesterday i tried to blog but ended up not being able to blog because the post didn’t register. anyway -
past few days have been pretty much great!! (with the exception of last night)
-END OF PRELIMS!! no more school based exams yay.
-started a tumblr account (http://whirlwindromances.tumblr.com/)
-i love tumblr! but wordpress kinda rocks too so yeah. not entirely gonna move. yet. not that i’m going to be doing much on either end.
-MOVIE MARATHON + stayover! which was really really really enjoyable and actually has been the highlight of my post-exam activities we watched transformers one and two in one single night HAHAHA transformers was good but the second one started to stretch the limits of my imagination already. OHH and we consumed super. alot. of. rubbish. chips and one entire pint of ice cream oh dear but pukka icecream is actually good. (i’ve been going there SUPER OFTEN HAHA) or at least, i like it. looking forward to more of such insanely good times after As
-was interviewed for something which was quite fun!! good dinner (first oktoberfest dinner, platter of bratwurst and other german stuff was so good) ++ sticky chewy chocolate sundae from swenson’s for dessert
-haven’t been sleeping enough, have been bumming around too much, NEED TO START APPLYING TO UK (!!) and so i shall start. tonight.
meanwhile, i shall be off for youth soon. haven’t gone in weeks ‘cos of tuition.
top 10 things i’ve learnt while doing my lit h3:
1. yay that i chose animals the sucky thing is that whenever i chance upon pictures of cats… yep, slightly distracted. i saw the most majestic bengal tiger ever (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Panthera_tigris_tigris.jpg) and everyone who read this blog PLEASE never bring me close to a bengal tiger that looks like that. i have a slight feeling i’ll probably go right up to it and go… “hey kitty kitty!! who’s the cute little kitty!!” (which is what i do to my own cat) and i will definitely stroke its beautiful fur.
which is not so good. i think it might bite, to say the least.
2. insurmountable distractions on the internet. biggest evil and also what i can’t live without because i need it for all my references
3. Occasionally while in captivity, pigs may eat their own young if they become severely stressed. (like, seriously.)
4. animals become sexually active when they are just months old. like the pig, from about 8 months of age. no wonder on the conservation status thing they are of “least concern” HAHA.
5. chocolate is my new best friend.
6. settling down and actually being productive takes a very long time. and productivity wears off after a very short time.
7. In modern films such as Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, Damien: Omen II, The Crow and Exorcist: The Beginning, crows are shown tearing out people’s eyes while they are still alive. Crows have never been known for this behavior due to their high preference for carrion.
8. i really enjoy doing this research paper !!!!
9. monkeys are generally HIDEOUS. (check it out here http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Monkey)
10. SENSE OF ACCOMPLISHMENT AT FINALLY REACHING 3000 WORDS AFTER BATTLING IT FOR 2 WEEKENDS IS… FORMIDABLE. 3320 (!!) although the final 500 words were so, so hard because i’m super drained.
i haven’t blogged for a while. this is the first time in the past few years that i’ve been able to avoid touching the computer for so many days on end. i think having a smartphone that can access email anytime, anywhere helps.
i actually like econs. year one econs with ms shawna lim was just awesome, she’s a really amazing teacher. i don’t think i was a very good student, i wrote lots of terrible essays which she was probably very tortured by. but somehow in the end i pulled through with a nice comfortable B and a nice high percentile that really, really shocked me.
somehow this year that “love” has been lost. i put love in quotation marks because if i really loved a subject i don’t think i would let a lack of a good teacher affect my love for said subject. like for literature, i <3 it. although i’m pretty sure in lower secondary i had bad teachers. although i can’t really remember because i spent most of my lessons reading.
today i was studying at starbucks in vivo (: first at the isolated one, then at the one near converse right smack in the centre of the biggest shopping centre in singapore. i snuggled comfortably into one of the chairs and settled down to read “murder in the cathedral” and i felt so… pleasant after that (: i think if i work after As, i’m definitely going to hang out at starbucks’ comfortable couches and read read read read read.
i love reading. not reading sources in SBQ, or econs notes, AND DEFINITELY NOT MATH NOTES PLEASE TOO MANY NUMBERS,. i love my own notes though, some of them.
i guess i’m somewhat like marlow, “i like what is in the work – the chance to find yourself. your own reality – for yourself, not for others – what no other man can ever know. they can only see the mere show, and never can tell what it really means.”
writing history essay outlines, doing my econs essay in that 45 minutes (and failing to finish it within the given time), doing math questions and managing to get some correct, reading and highlighting my lit text… i enjoy this. i enjoy studying. even though i might not always be very good at it heh. but yeah, i’m trying.
and trusting. God has been really Good in the past week. i’m learning to lean on Him again, like i did last year for promos. and leaning on Him instead of leaning on my abilities, instead of being insecure, has helped me so much. i’m more relaxed, less snappish, absorb more, less stressed, and i smile alot more so yes, praise the Lord! for He is becoming the focal point of my life again (like it should be).
i have this inspirational daily quote thing and i saw this:
“Whatever career you may choose for yourself — doctor, lawyer, teacher — let me propose an avocation to be pursued along with it. Become a dedicated fighter for civil rights. Make it a central part of your life. It will make you a better doctor, a better lawyer, a better teacher. It will enrich your spirit as nothing else possibly can. It will give you that rare sense of nobility that can only spring from love and selflessly helping your fellow man . Make a career of humanity. Commit yourself to the noble struggle for human rights. You will make a greater person of yourself, a greater nation of your country, and a finer world to live in.” Martin Luther King, Jr.
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i have found sgbeat, this awesome service that alllows you to tweet via sms
life has been… rather bittersweet. ahwell.
went out with mich today
